Privacy Policy

Last updated: June 24, 2025

Welcome to Fried Ocean, where the content is fake but the privacy concerns are real.

Who We Are

Our website address is:

https://friedocean.com

. That’s us. You’re here. Let’s do this responsibly.

Comments

When visitors leave comments on the site, we collect the data you type into the form (obviously), along with your IP address and browser user agent string to help with spam detection. If you leave a comment that includes a conspiracy theory, off-topic rant, or unsolicited crypto advice, we may ignore it—but it still gets stored.

We also may generate an anonymized string (called a hash) from your email address to check if you use Gravatar. If so, your profile picture might appear next to your comment. Their privacy policy lives here. We take no responsibility for what happens there—it’s their house.

Media

If you upload images to the site, please avoid embedding sensitive metadata like GPS coordinates. Unless you want strangers knowing where you took that photo of a sad raccoon eating a hotdog.

Cookies

We use cookies to make your visit slightly less annoying and to improve your experience. Here’s how:

• If you leave a comment, you can opt-in to save your name, email, and website in cookies. These last one year.

• Visiting our login page sets a temporary cookie to check if your browser accepts cookies.

• Logging in creates cookies to store login info and screen preferences. These last two days (or two weeks if you select “Remember Me”).

• If you log out, those cookies are deleted.

• Editing or publishing a post drops a cookie that remembers the post ID. No personal data is included. It expires in one day.

By using this site, you consent to our use of cookies. You can disable cookies in your browser settings, but doing so may impair site functionality.

Embedded Content from Other Websites

Some of our articles include embedded content (e.g., videos, tweets, images, etc.). Embedded content from other websites behaves just like you visited that site directly—which means they may collect data, use cookies, and track your interaction. We don’t control that. We’re barely holding it together here.

Analytics and Tracking

We may use third-party analytics tools (such as Google Analytics, Meta Pixel, etc.) to understand how visitors use our site. These tools collect anonymized usage data—like what pages you visit and how long you stay. They do not reveal your deepest secrets (as far as we know). You can opt out of many tracking tools using browser add-ons or privacy settings.

Who We Share Your Data With

Short answer: not many people. If you request a password reset, your IP address will be included in the reset email. Otherwise, we don’t share, sell, trade, rent, lease, or gift your personal info to third parties—unless required by law or a very convincing bribe. (Kidding. Sort of.)

Data Security

We take reasonable steps to protect your data from unauthorized access, loss, or misuse. But let’s be honest—nothing online is 100% secure. So if you’re storing state secrets or banking details here, that’s a you problem.

Children’s Privacy

Fried Ocean is not intended for anyone under 13 years old. We do not knowingly collect personal information from children. If you’re a parent and discover your child has submitted personal data, contact us at hello@friedocean.com, and we’ll handle it—gently and immediately.

Your Rights

Depending on your location, you may have certain privacy rights under laws like the General Data Protection Regulation (GDPR) or the California Consumer Privacy Act (CCPA). These rights may include:

• The right to know what data we collect and how we use it

• The right to access, update, or delete your personal data

• The right to object to processing or request data portability

• The right to not be discriminated against for exercising your privacy rights

To exercise these rights, contact us at hello@friedocean.com. We’ll respond in a timely, legally appropriate, and possibly sarcastic manner.

How Long We Retain Your Data

If you leave a comment, we keep it and its metadata forever (because the internet never forgets). For users who register (if we allow it), we store the personal information provided in your user profile indefinitely—unless you ask us to delete it or we decide to do a little spring cleaning.

Where Your Data Goes

Visitor comments may be checked through an automated spam detection service. Your data may also travel through other third-party tools we use to keep the site functioning, analyze performance, or keep the robots from taking over.

Compliance Statement

We make a good-faith effort to comply with applicable data protection and privacy laws, including the GDPR, CCPA, and other relevant regulations. That said, we are not a law firm and this page should not be considered legal advice. If you have specific privacy concerns, we encourage you to consult your attorney or your tinfoil hat.

Contact Us

Have questions about this policy or want to file a formal complaint (or fan letter)? Email us at hello@friedocean.com. Just don’t expect a fast reply—we’re probably busy Photoshopping a flaming walrus.