Cheerful Throw Pillow Really Livens Up Local Meth Den
SPOKANE, WA— Residents of a local methamphetamine lab confirmed Friday that a single throw pillow has dramatically brightened the otherwise bleak space, though only in the sense that it briefly distracts from the overwhelming stench of chemicals and despair.
The pillow, featuring the phrase “Live, Laugh, Love” in cheerful lettering, was reportedly placed on a stained couch that until now served primarily as a crash site for hallucinating addicts and feral raccoons.
“It really ties the room together,” said resident cook Gary Michaels, brushing off ash and a syringe before reclining against the floral design. “For the first time in years, I felt like I was coming home—not just collapsing into a toxic hole while my teeth fell out.”
Design Experts Praise Bold Choice
Interior stylist Leah Duval described the addition as “shabby chic meets chemical dependency.”
“The mildew streaks, the cigarette burns, the black mold—they all make the floral motif pop,” she said. “It’s the kind of bold aesthetic clash you only get in a space where nobody expects to live long.”
Local Reception
Neighbors admitted the décor has made the place feel “less apocalyptic.”
“You can still hear screaming at 3 a.m.,” said tenant Carla Jensen. “But it sounds more like fun screaming now. Like a party.”
Meanwhile, tourists and influencers have begun posing with the pillow, using hashtags like #MethChic and #LiveLaughLab.
Already Falling Apart
Despite its early success, the pillow is deteriorating rapidly. The once-inspiring lettering is now obscured by cigarette burns, vomit stains, and what appears to be the imprint of a police officer’s boot.
Still, residents insist they’re committed to upgrading. “Next week we’re getting a scented candle,” Michaels said. “Nothing says class like lavender fighting for dominance with ammonia.”
City health inspectors disagreed. “A pillow doesn’t make this less of a toxic crime scene,” said Inspector Paula Henderson. “But it does make the raid photos look friendlier.”
At press time, the pillow was being used to smother the sound of a man screaming about spiders in his blood.