Reflecting Pool Resurfacing Now More Closely Followed Than 21-Week Iran War

“The audience has spoken, and the audience wants the hole,” said Meridian Broadcast Group analytics vice president Curt Nakashima. “We ran a war correspondent live from a hardened position for eleven minutes and lost 30% of our viewers. We ran forty seconds of a man in waders checking a level and held 96%. I’m not going to pretend I understand it. I’m going to staff it.”

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Treasure Hunters Reach End Of Rainbow, Find Only Meth Lab

Flamingo Knows It’s Hot Shit

FRIED OCEAN RECOMMENDS

Stuff To Buy Before Everything Falls Apart

You are not going to be the guy with the bunker. You are going to be the guy with a phone at four percent and a bag of shredded cheese. Eight things that fix that, ranked by how you die without them.

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Bus Stop Great Place To Wait For Bus, And Mugging

Gate Agent Reaches Full Climax Assigning Middle Seats To Annoying Family Of Five

Until next week. Stay weird.

Satire for emotionally resilient adults.